exsilium ☼ IC Contact Post ☼ 2012-2013

[wilder]

"Yo. Leave a message."

FROM: SUBJECT: DATE: LITTLE WOLF What are you doing? (2) November 6, 2013 RIKU Maybe this is nothing. (2) October 29th, 2013 ASCH KETCHUM 'Isofons'. It's pronounced 'isofons'. (2) October 25th, 2013 LITTLE WOLF That's for you! (133) October 24th, 2013 LITTLE WOLF are you busy (32) October 20th, 2013 FLORA Hey, Kaneis. I really hope... (32) October 14th, 2013 VICTORIA GUILDFORD Master Kaneis, my apologies for... (20) October 10th, 2013 RIKU Hey, Doctor Kaneis. (24) September 29th, 2013 ASBEL LHANT Hey Kaneis. It's Asbel. (18) September 23rd, 2013 CAT, ALLEN WALKER No Subject (35) September 22nd, 2013 VICTORIA CRAWFORD Hey, Kaneis! What's up? (14) August 23rd, 2013 ALLEN WALKER Kaneis, are you in the apartment? (42) August 18th, 2013 HOWARD LINK To residents of apartment 103... (4) August 4th, 2013 CAT when you come bring back milk (40) August 3rd, 2013 EMIL CASTAGNIER Hi, Kaneis. I bumped into somebody... (20) August 2nd, 2013 SELES WILDER Zelos, I wanted to apologize... (55) July 24th, 2013 EMIL CASTAGNIER I...can I ask you for a favor? (13) July 6th, 2013 ASCH KETCHUM Everything alright down there? (10) June 23rd, 2013 NILL are you ok? (41) June 18th, 2013 SELES WILDER No Subject (21) June 8th, 2013 CAT I have it. Do you want... (91) May 28th, 2013 ANONYMOUS Young male in 409 requiring assistance. (8) April 18th, 2013 VICTORIA CRAWFORD Uh... hey, Kaneis. About last night... (30) February 15th, 2013 SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI Hey, it's me. (2) February 11th, 2013 KRATOS AURION This is Kratos. (73) December 23rd, 2012 There are 3 unfinished conversations.

TO: SUBJECT: DATE: ASBEL LHANT Listen...when you got a moment... (23) November 14th, 2013 ALLEN WALKER I have a favor to ask... (68) August 12th, 2013 SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI No Subject (29) August 9th, 2013 ALLEN WALKER Allen! Allen! Allen! (47) August 3rd, 2013 ALLEN WALKER Cheria and I are going to a Realm of Shadows... (13) July 13th, 2013 CHERIA BARNES Look, I know I'd said I'd cover dinner... July 13th, 2013 SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI Weird question, but- (29) July 5th, 2013 EMIL CASTAGNIER Yo Emil! You there? (49) June 24th, 2013 SELES WILDER Hey my little sister, it's me. (49) June 5th, 2013 SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI Heeey Sheena! You there hunny? (82) June 2nd, 2013 GUY CECIL Hey, it's Kaneis. Are you still up... (12) May 29th, 2013 ASCH KETCHUM Hey Asch, it's Kaneis. You there? (21) April 23rd, 2013 SHEENA FUJIBAYASHI Mithos is here. (13) February 3rd, 2013 There are 0 unfinished conversations.

code by cawaii



OOC Note: Please do not use teletype font, the mun's computer makes it super tiny and hard to read. Thanks!

Comments

and done

[wilder]

[There's a brief pause, as if he's debating sending before he finally does it]

But...I love you too.

[He thinks about sending more, maybe explaining things but...nah. Not really his style.]

1/2

[hiddendepth]

[She's typing a reply to the first message already when she gets the second. It had been furious scolding about how he shouldn't say those things and should listen to her, don't discount her, etc etc. But.

Those words catch her off guard, and she erases her message and just stares at them for a few moments.

They make her so happy she could cry. And she has to press her face into a pillow for a few moments to make sure she doesn't. There might be a small squeal of a noise, but that's all, and then she's back on replying...]

[hiddendepth]

Then please listen to me. Don't carry this all on yourself. Did you really choose to die?

If that's the case, it's as much on me as it is on you. I'm your sister, and I've been so worried about my own feelings this whole time that I never considered yours properly enough. I didn't think that you could be needing to hear things like that. I only listened to my fear of not being worth your time or part of your life anymore.

[It's so much easier to type this and slam the 'send' button than it is to talk. And she feels a bit ashamed of it, but at the same time? Why not start here? Why not use something to better convey her emotions while she can? If it's a way to force these things out... If it's a way she can get to see her brother say he loves her...

Then she doesn't mind it.]

You're here with me right now, and I think that matters.

1/2

[wilder]

[Not...worth his time or part of his life? That's....was that the impression he gave? Damn...looking back, he could see how she'd get that impression. Even if at the time, he had thought it had been the other way around.]

Seles, stop. You're gonna drive yourself crazy over-thinking anything you might have done wrong.

[TRUST HIM. HE HAS IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS]

2/3 I lied

[wilder]

[He sighs a little before writing up his next response]

As for your question...yeah. I did choose it. I had...all sorts of reasons at the time. A lot of them would probably piss you off, so I won't bother listing them. And I've heard a hundred different ways about how it was a terrible choice, so we don't have to review that part either.

As for what you're saying about your fault? Maybe...things would've been different had you acted differently, but I don't know. Who can really say what things can change the course of the future? It's not like....I was really trying hard to listen for anything either. I mean, the last thing I heard you say was for me to 'take care'...and I didn't really listen to that. Maybe thinking you hated me was easier, I dunno...

3/3 done

[wilder]

...Ugh. I'm really not saying this very well.

[Communication is hard. But he'll try a different approach]

Honestly, I feel like we could spend months arguing about the semantics of all that and blame, but- I really don't want to. It's not like it'd change anything.

[HE'LL STILL BE DEAD. At least he knows to have enough tact not to say that]

I mean, it's like you said- we're here now. Can't we just...focus on this time and place instead?

1/2

[hiddendepth]

[At first she wants to argue back. To demand her right towards the blame involving him, even if she knows he won't see it her way. She feels this way so strongly...

But then his last message gets through and she finds herself thinking on it quietly. Even if she cried for days on days about how nothing she did would bring him back in his world... Even if that was upsetting... He was right.

He was here. They could focus on now. Things here could be better.]

The way we think is quite similar, isn't it? Up until now all I've been able to hold onto was our hair color, so it's a bit comforting to think about the signs that we're related in other ways. Maybe that's silly... Even if it's something like our stupid way of thinking, it's kind of comforting.

I agree. Let's focus on this time and place.

[hiddendepth]

I want to get to know you more, big brother. I don't want to have to go off rumors.

[wilder]

Heh, I guess it is pretty similar. [He's not sure how comforting that is for him, considering he knows he seems to have mental problems of some variety- but hey, similarities can be cool!] But good, glad you're agreed.

[it's a bit surreal, that this is actually his sister on the other end. He almost wonders if he's gonna wake up from a dream- but oh wait it's not like he sleeps much anyway haaa]

...You sure about that? I mean, some of those rumors are pretty fantastic.

[hiddendepth]

[...Even if that comment makes her want to reach across and smack him, she smiles at it. They're going to get closer like this. She doesn't have to be afraid anymore. It'll still be hard, but...

They're here together. Being open with each other, too.]

Hardly! You shouldn't be allowing rumors of that level to be reaching your little sister's ears, you know! Disgusting.

I haven't heard anything like that here, though, so I'm glad.

[wilder]

Hey, you act like I can control where the rumors go. There's some that apparently floated around for months until I heard about them, okay?

[There's a bit of a pause at that. Oh. Right.]

Haha, well...I'm not really high profile here. Most people just think I'm a mercenary named Kaneis. Not...much to gossip about really.

[Yeah...this might be awkward]

[hiddendepth]

[Hmm... She pauses at that to think for a moment. She hasn't heard any rumors about Kaneis, either, but that does remind her.

Is he trying to separate himself from his life back home? Is that why there's the name change? The request for focus on here and now? She types her reply slowly.]

That's right, you're Kaneis, too.

I've tried my best to refer to you as that while speaking to others. Is that what you want? Should I call you that, or is it fine to call you Zelos?

[wilder]

...You can call me what you'd like, Seles. I'm not about to go around asking people to lie for my sake.

[Sure, he was a liar- but something about badgering other people to do it seemed sorta off to him. He was the screw up that decided to change his identity, not like they did anything wrong]

[hiddendepth]

I don't want to mess things up for you. You know that, right?

[wilder]

...Yeah, I know.

[This whole thing was a whole lot more complicated with family around. Ngh...]

Well, what have you been doing? I mean, when people ask about you.

[hiddendepth]

Do you mean when they ask who I am...?

[She shifts a bit on her bed as she considers this. ...She's been kind of a loner since she got here. Not too many people knew her, but when she introduced herself...]

I've just said who I am as always, and not much more than that. Seles Wilder.

[Slowly, she adds one more sentence before sending.]

It's a name I like to hold onto.

[Wilder... she means.]

[wilder]

[Hm. He thought that was it. He couldn't see Seles advertising that she's been in an abbey for a decade or more. But at that name thing...]

...Yeah. It's a good name.

[He misses sometimes being a Wilder. More than he misses being Zelos. But ah...really if he started worrying about dishonor, the cold hard truth was- his parents probably would've been happier if he WASN'T a Wilder]

You don't have to change your name for my sake. I've been using a different surname, but we're half-siblings so people probably won't question it too much.

[a pause]

There's only a couple people from our world here, so no one really knows who we are or our family's story. No one even seems to care all that much about being part elf either. Well, my roommate seemed to think elves were little creatures, but ah, he's an idiot anyway.

...I guess what I'm saying is, you could live however you want here.

[hiddendepth]

[She could comment on a few things. That she wants to share as many things with him as she can, but that it doesn't matter all the same because she thinks they don't need it to be together. That she never says they're half-siblings to other people... That she met an elf who seemed to despise magic, and by some extension, her.

But all that stuff doesn't seem as important as getting something across right now.]

I don't care, as long as I can live with you.

[With him in her life...]

[wilder]

- What?

[MAY BE MISINTERPRETING BRB]

- Uh, I mean! Nothing against that, but my apartments pretty crowded! You wouldn't even get your own room- you'd either have to share it with me or two other girls or I'd have to kick Allen out.

[Because Allen is NOT sharing a room with his baby sister!! ]

1/2

[hiddendepth]

That isn't what I meant!!!

[hiddendepth]

I mean, not that I would have a problem with that either, but I'm not so rude as to invite myself over and kick your roommates out!

...I meant that I'd like to spend time with you more. As long as I have my brother here in this place instead of being kept away so far from him and never able to come along, then that's all I care about... Don't laugh.

[wilder]

[Oh. Okay. That...makes much more sense and is a relief. Because whew, after what she did to their living room his roommates would probably be less than eager.]

...I'm not laughing.

[hiddendepth]

...Good.

[She's too embarrassed to add much more than that, and it's kind of a pouty response but... it's there. Because she wants to respond, even if she doesn't know what to say.]

[wilder]

[There's a pause on his end. Deliberating, swallowing fear. ]

Hey. Would you mind telling me where you are right now?

[hiddendepth]

[It catches her off guard and she freezes right down to her heart. Because she's afraid too, along with plenty of other things. Embarrassed, happy, curious...]

I'm just in my room. Why?