Which is why I am not asking, Zelos. If there is something you do not want to tell me, then it isn't my place to press the matter.
[There really was no good option here, as far as Viktor was concerned. He'd rather have died on the spot than admit to everyone like Harumasa had--he didn't have that kind of nerve by any means. But Zelos was right; it was wrong to keep this to himself.]
...You're right, I know. I can't just not tell them, but...I do not know how, and I do not even know how to accept that kind of attention. Stupid as that may sound, I just...can't stand the idea of being looked at like some fragile, pitiable thing. And obviously I realize, on a logical level, it is not nearly so simple as that--but convincing myself of that is not as straightforward as it should be.
Oh, I know. It's one of the things I like about you! You're not looking to solve me.
[Viktor doesn't get Zelos, but he doesn't try to solve him or change him to make him more understandable. He just...accepts him for what he is. It's refreshing in a way]
Ahhh, so that's the reason. Well, I think I know a way round that. If someone's looking at you like you're a charity case or something to be pitied... be an asshole to them, or hit them with your cane.
Tends to get those looks to go away real quick.
[.... Well, that solves the mystery to why Zelos has so few friends. The assholery is frequently on purpose]
Do you really think I'm capable of that, Zelos? Because that is a little bit hurtful. Even if I hate the way someone is trying to express compassion, I'm not going to hit them for it.
[He was, at times, a couple steps short of a pushover. Viktor shook his head, visibly resigning himself to actually being honest; because he could trust Zelos with that if no one else.]
...Even after all this time, I am not used to this. People caring about what happens to me, to the degree I know that they would if they found out--the mere idea of it is already overwhelming.
Hey, it's just a suggestion! It's probably something I'd do, so-
[Again, this is perhaps why Zelos has so few friends.]
... It's a weird feeling, right? People giving a shit, and not because they can get something out of it. But I'm not surprised it happened to you- you tend to be pretty nice to folks.
[janna bless you for being aggressively yourself, zelos]
Even so...there really is no good way to say this, but I have never gotten used to my life having value to people. Least of all on a scale like this...it's a little frightening.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[There really was no good option here, as far as Viktor was concerned. He'd rather have died on the spot than admit to everyone like Harumasa had--he didn't have that kind of nerve by any means. But Zelos was right; it was wrong to keep this to himself.]
...You're right, I know. I can't just not tell them, but...I do not know how, and I do not even know how to accept that kind of attention. Stupid as that may sound, I just...can't stand the idea of being looked at like some fragile, pitiable thing. And obviously I realize, on a logical level, it is not nearly so simple as that--but convincing myself of that is not as straightforward as it should be.
no subject
[Viktor doesn't get Zelos, but he doesn't try to solve him or change him to make him more understandable. He just...accepts him for what he is. It's refreshing in a way]
Ahhh, so that's the reason. Well, I think I know a way round that. If someone's looking at you like you're a charity case or something to be pitied... be an asshole to them, or hit them with your cane.
Tends to get those looks to go away real quick.
[.... Well, that solves the mystery to why Zelos has so few friends. The assholery is frequently on purpose]
no subject
[He was, at times, a couple steps short of a pushover. Viktor shook his head, visibly resigning himself to actually being honest; because he could trust Zelos with that if no one else.]
...Even after all this time, I am not used to this. People caring about what happens to me, to the degree I know that they would if they found out--the mere idea of it is already overwhelming.
no subject
[Again, this is perhaps why Zelos has so few friends.]
... It's a weird feeling, right? People giving a shit, and not because they can get something out of it. But I'm not surprised it happened to you- you tend to be pretty nice to folks.
no subject
Even so...there really is no good way to say this, but I have never gotten used to my life having value to people. Least of all on a scale like this...it's a little frightening.