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[wilder]

"You've reached the Great Zelos Wilder! Leave a message and I'll maybe get back to you."

Comments

[bolincredible]

It's not ripping! Are you sure you're grabbing the right thing?! Do we need to get the saw back?! [ NEVER WAS BOLIN SO TORN BETWEEN AMUSEMENT AND SHEER HORROR. ]

[jaywalks]

No, no, not the saw, try the drill. Or the hammer that worked on his ribs...

[bolincredible]

--okay! Okay I think we're on the drill, do the fingers! How do people do this for a living?

[jaywalks]

Yeah, I know — now see if we can cut the strings but not so he like shoots blood or anything.

[wilder]

[He has been listening to this with TOTAL HORROR AND A LOST OF WORDS.]

W-What the hell?! Stop that!

[HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS.]

[sangilak]

[ oh god she just realized its on voice now UM DAMAGE CONTROL?? ]

I've been trying to get them to stop but they've been at this for hours!

[ she can't lie, it's funny as HELL though. there's a second's long lull before: ]

OH!!! BOLIN, what did you DO?!

[jaywalks]

[ UNNATURALLY CALM, BUT ANGRY ]

That was his heart you drilled through! I said the strings now he's dying faster.

[bolincredible]

Oh- ohh, no, yeah, that's definitely right through the heart, huh? Where's the thing that stops him from bleeding everywhere--? [ ........ man he's gonna be in trouble now. ]

... so, guess I found it.

[jaywalks]

[ ... WH ]

Are we —? ... Did you just give us drugs?

[sangilak]

Are you high!?

[jaywalks]

Princess fuckin' Yue and her fuckin' moonfish, Bolin, now we're tripping balls.

[wilder]

[....]

[What the fuck guys. What the actual fuck. He has no idea what's going on over there, other than there's apparently drills and hearts and these kids know shit about human anatomy terms.]

[But. Zelos isn't dumb. There's no way they'd be calmly performing a botched surgery on someone right? And Korra wouldn't stand idly by and let them do it right? No way! And he didn't hear any sort of drills. So.]

[...]

[Taking a deep breath. And another deep breath. Maybe counting to ten. Also pinching the bridge of his nose. He waits until he's more calm to speak.]

For crying out loud, they're called arteries. Not strings.

Now just what is going on over there? And how did you guys get drugs? [MAKO HE THOUGHT YOU WERE LAW ABIDING]

[sangilak]

[ there's a few more pained yells of exasperation and desperation, and korra and mako take a moment to encourage bolin with more specific instructions while he's high as fuck before korra realizes that zelos is begging for attention — ]

— Huh? [ ????? she already told you? ] Oh! Mako and Bolin found this... "vid-e-yo game"? It mentioned needing teamwork to win, so... they thought it would be easy.

[wilder]

[Hey man you called him!!]

- A game, huh.

[And that makes him relax more. He had no idea what a vid-e-yo is, but if it's a game it's a game. Even if he's not sure who would make a game about surgery...]

[He gives a little sigh]

You should probably tell 'em to keep their day jobs.