This is a catch-all contact post for Zelos Wilder/Kaneis Major in warforged. Please put the style of contact (in-person, mail, scrying, messenger pigeons - whatever) and/or location in the subject line!
To get all my power back, I gotta through the Angel Transformation. It's...a long and unpleasant process, to say the least. If I had a choice, I'd probably choose to just stick with being human, even if it meant I'd be weaker.
But...looks like I really don't get a say in the matter anyway.
[Luke never thought of Zelos as anything less than human, so he's surprised to hear that he won't be. But he knew, too, that Zelos was an angel-- he just ignored it.]
... I'm sorry, [he murmurs, feeling useless.] I know it's not the same thing and I don't want imply anything-- but when I was falling apart, I found out that it helped if someone was with me. So, I can stay with you if it... starts to hurt again, or bother you, or something like that. I won't tell anyone, either.
[Human, not human- frankly, Zelos isn't entirely sure what he's supposed to be. When people spent his whole life treating him like some inhuman thing, but he wasn't anything like the angels of Cruxis (nor did he want to be anything like them)...well, it was a bit confusing to say the least]
It's not your fault. [Even if he knows Luke is trying to show sympathy. But at least he seems humbled a little at the offer. Even if he's not entirely sure what to do with it] I...
[Trying to find the answer, and nope he's got nothing. What the fuck is friendship.]
No offense, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do with an offer like that. I tend to do stuff on my own, you know?
[Luke blinks at how straightforward Zelos is, but then he smiles, and it seems for a moment like the conversation is lighter than it really is.]
It's okay. I'm not really used to having friends, either.
But... I feel like it's the right thing to do. Offering, I mean. If you're struggling with your powers, it's not good for you to be alone. You could get really hurt if someone caught you at a bad time, you know?
I haven't told anyone, and I've known about the angel thing for a while. It's-- I don't want to say it's a secret for a secret, because it's not, but it's something that you'd want to tell people yourself. If you wanted to. And if you don't want to, then it's not a big deal anyway.
[YES AND SIMPLE LOGIC IS WHAT HE'S WEAKEST AGAINST. See: Lloyd Irving]
...Sorta?
[He seems to ease up a little with a headshake, there even seems to be a faint trace of smile on his face]
I get it, though. And you have been good about not telling anyone so far- I'll give you that. Not that I want people to lie for me, but- [He pauses, rubbing his head]
I dunno. Maybe it's just what happened to Exsilium talking, but...I can't shake the feeling something bad will happen if people in this world find out about these crystals.
He remembers something bad happening in Exsilium, but not exactly what. That's... odd. He touches his temple for a moment, seemingly distracted, and then he lets it go.]
I know that feeling... I was afraid they'd find out about hyperresonance and send me to the United Earth to destroy it. I would've died if I tried, but...
[He shakes his head lightly.]
No one has to know. But, whether you tell people or not, this transformation is still going to happen. You can't-- take off the crystal now, can you? It's too dangerous, right? I remember how you looked, before...
[He notices the distraction, but he can't really figure out over what. but it seems to pass, so Zelos lets it go. A lot of terrible things happened in his year there, who wouldn't be distracted thinking of that stuff?]
...Fair thing to be afraid of. I wouldn't have put it past the Initiative to try just that.
[So much fondness for them, this one has. He hopes AI is doing okay, but the rest he'd be happy to never think about again.]
You mean when I was dumb enough to take it off? [Sure, he doesn't regret it. It saved his sister. But still, he can admit it was stupid] Yeah, it's probably too late now. I already got my wings back and other's stuff changed too.
[THOSE ARE THE EASY PART. He seems reluctant to talk about it, simply because he never does, but if Luke keeps insisting on helping...]
My hearing's improved, I can pick up the faintest of sounds and hear things much farther away than a human can. And I got some of my magic back, I can heal again and use some light artes.
But...I can't eat. There's no taste to anything I try, and it won't stay down anyway. I don't feel hunger anymore, so...I stopped trying awhile ago.
I-- well, yeah... and maybe some magic. [He ducks his head, a gesture that only lasts briefly, because then Zelos is talking about being able to heal again. That in itself is pretty good, but then--]
You can't-- you can't eat?[And Luke offered to make food. That's kind of awful.] I'm sorry, I didn't know. I bet the thought of it just makes you want to hurl. That's why you haven't been eating with us.
Like I know. [Friendless loser remember?] But seriously, don't sweat it. If I wanted people to know, I would've said something.
[Would've whined about it, actually!]
A lot of stuff. [He takes a few steps away, his arms lightly crossed. He's not sure how to talk about this. It's personal and it scares him. In the end, he decides to approach it with the same detachment a medic has when talking about a patient's symptoms.]
Loss of sleep, feeling and voice. Each of those come with a high fever and weakness that lasts about a day. But that other stuff continue until...[he pauses]
Well, I have a keycrest, so there's no need to worry you about that. [yeah] Anyway, once I regain all my abilities and my body adjusts again, I should go back to norm- er, to how I was in Exsilium.
Meanwhile, Luke is fucking staring, and he knows that's probably not going to make Zelos feel any better, but he just can't get over what he's been told.]
This is so screwed up. You won't be able to feel anything, or sleep things off, or eat your favorite food, or tell anyone how you feel-- and this is supposed to happen?
What kind of world...
[Thinking about Zelos going through that-- it's scary. He doesn't want Zelos to be alone, but he's feeling that fear like it's his own.]
You're going to live through it, right? You're not-- going to disappear?
[Because, by all accounts, that sounds like dying. It reminds Luke, quite suddenly, that he had disappeared himself.]
[Some part of him knows Luke means well, and is probably in some state of shock from being told all that bad news. But Zelos was never good at being pitied, or frankly being shown any kind of concern. Especially when it's something he's actually scared about. So his natural response is to retort quite dryly.]
Yes, thank you Luke. None of those problems had occurred to me before.
[And oh, the kid's afraid he's gonna die. Good thing he didn't expand on that last part, huh. He gives a little sigh]
I lived through it before, so I don't see a reason why I wouldn't again. [Okay he amends;] I mean, maybe it'd be easier if someone who knew more about angels and Cruxis Crystals was around. But then again, most of those guys aren't very good people- so I'm not gonna complain much about their absence.
yeah i was supposed to post to the drop post for Syl but i forgot LMAO
[Oops. He rubs at the back of his head. Zelos is a little prickly, and he's used to that, but Luke's mouth sometimes gets away from him and then that happens.]
S-sorry.
[He sighs softly, balling his hands into fists.]
Of course you'll be fine. You're one of the toughest people I've ever met. I just... I don't want to lose anyone else I care about.
[It's okay Luke. Zelos would probably sass at anyone's attempts of comfort.]
Toughest, huh...?
[He sincerely doubts that since he really doesn't consider himself tough, but whatever man]
You're not gonna lose me. Though you are gonna have to endure not hearing my beautiful voice for awhile! Not sure how you'll manage, but I'm sure you'll find a way.
[There's a pause. He seems uncertain about the whole idea. Sure, it's not like he has better ideas, but trusting the guy who brought him into this mess...]
I'll...think it over.
Should have some time before I lose my voice anyway.
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[There's a pause, as he thinks what to say]
To get all my power back, I gotta through the Angel Transformation. It's...a long and unpleasant process, to say the least. If I had a choice, I'd probably choose to just stick with being human, even if it meant I'd be weaker.
But...looks like I really don't get a say in the matter anyway.
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... I'm sorry, [he murmurs, feeling useless.] I know it's not the same thing and I don't want imply anything-- but when I was falling apart, I found out that it helped if someone was with me. So, I can stay with you if it... starts to hurt again, or bother you, or something like that. I won't tell anyone, either.
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It's not your fault. [Even if he knows Luke is trying to show sympathy. But at least he seems humbled a little at the offer. Even if he's not entirely sure what to do with it] I...
[Trying to find the answer, and nope he's got nothing. What the fuck is friendship.]
No offense, but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do with an offer like that. I tend to do stuff on my own, you know?
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It's okay. I'm not really used to having friends, either.
But... I feel like it's the right thing to do. Offering, I mean. If you're struggling with your powers, it's not good for you to be alone. You could get really hurt if someone caught you at a bad time, you know?
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...And you're sure you won't tell anyone? You are an honest guy.
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I haven't told anyone, and I've known about the angel thing for a while. It's-- I don't want to say it's a secret for a secret, because it's not, but it's something that you'd want to tell people yourself. If you wanted to. And if you don't want to, then it's not a big deal anyway.
... Am I making any sense? [SIGH.]
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...Sorta?
[He seems to ease up a little with a headshake, there even seems to be a faint trace of smile on his face]
I get it, though. And you have been good about not telling anyone so far- I'll give you that. Not that I want people to lie for me, but- [He pauses, rubbing his head]
I dunno. Maybe it's just what happened to Exsilium talking, but...I can't shake the feeling something bad will happen if people in this world find out about these crystals.
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He remembers something bad happening in Exsilium, but not exactly what. That's... odd. He touches his temple for a moment, seemingly distracted, and then he lets it go.]
I know that feeling... I was afraid they'd find out about hyperresonance and send me to the United Earth to destroy it. I would've died if I tried, but...
[He shakes his head lightly.]
No one has to know. But, whether you tell people or not, this transformation is still going to happen. You can't-- take off the crystal now, can you? It's too dangerous, right? I remember how you looked, before...
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...Fair thing to be afraid of. I wouldn't have put it past the Initiative to try just that.
[So much fondness for them, this one has. He hopes AI is doing okay, but the rest he'd be happy to never think about again.]
You mean when I was dumb enough to take it off? [Sure, he doesn't regret it. It saved his sister. But still, he can admit it was stupid] Yeah, it's probably too late now. I already got my wings back and other's stuff changed too.
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... Other stuff?
[Well, this should be horrifying.]
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[THOSE ARE THE EASY PART. He seems reluctant to talk about it, simply because he never does, but if Luke keeps insisting on helping...]
My hearing's improved, I can pick up the faintest of sounds and hear things much farther away than a human can. And I got some of my magic back, I can heal again and use some light artes.
But...I can't eat. There's no taste to anything I try, and it won't stay down anyway. I don't feel hunger anymore, so...I stopped trying awhile ago.
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You can't-- you can't eat? [And Luke offered to make food. That's kind of awful.] I'm sorry, I didn't know. I bet the thought of it just makes you want to hurl. That's why you haven't been eating with us.
I'm so stupid.
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Hey, it's not like I told anyone. How were you supposed to guess I wasn't eating? It's not like many other people noticed, just Valamia.
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[He bites his lip briefly.]
... If your powers keep coming back, what else is going to happen?
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[Would've whined about it, actually!]
A lot of stuff. [He takes a few steps away, his arms lightly crossed. He's not sure how to talk about this. It's personal and it scares him. In the end, he decides to approach it with the same detachment a medic has when talking about a patient's symptoms.]
Loss of sleep, feeling and voice. Each of those come with a high fever and weakness that lasts about a day. But that other stuff continue until...[he pauses]
Well, I have a keycrest, so there's no need to worry you about that. [yeah] Anyway, once I regain all my abilities and my body adjusts again, I should go back to norm- er, to how I was in Exsilium.
[H o p e f u l l y, anyway]
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Meanwhile, Luke is fucking staring, and he knows that's probably not going to make Zelos feel any better, but he just can't get over what he's been told.]
This is so screwed up. You won't be able to feel anything, or sleep things off, or eat your favorite food, or tell anyone how you feel-- and this is supposed to happen?
What kind of world...
[Thinking about Zelos going through that-- it's scary. He doesn't want Zelos to be alone, but he's feeling that fear like it's his own.]
You're going to live through it, right? You're not-- going to disappear?
[Because, by all accounts, that sounds like dying. It reminds Luke, quite suddenly, that he had disappeared himself.]
I'm gonna assume Yuan's gone by this point
Yes, thank you Luke. None of those problems had occurred to me before.
[And oh, the kid's afraid he's gonna die. Good thing he didn't expand on that last part, huh. He gives a little sigh]
I lived through it before, so I don't see a reason why I wouldn't again. [Okay he amends;] I mean, maybe it'd be easier if someone who knew more about angels and Cruxis Crystals was around. But then again, most of those guys aren't very good people- so I'm not gonna complain much about their absence.
yeah i was supposed to post to the drop post for Syl but i forgot LMAO
S-sorry.
[He sighs softly, balling his hands into fists.]
Of course you'll be fine. You're one of the toughest people I've ever met. I just... I don't want to lose anyone else I care about.
gj Saffy
Toughest, huh...?
[He sincerely doubts that since he really doesn't consider himself tough, but whatever man]
You're not gonna lose me. Though you are gonna have to endure not hearing my beautiful voice for awhile! Not sure how you'll manage, but I'm sure you'll find a way.
[Yep. Sure is trying to make light of things]
YEP A+++ MOD & GIRLFRIEND
People will notice if you can't talk. Are you just going to tell them you're sick?
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Well, I...
[He scratches the back of his head]
...I haven't really...thought that part out yet!
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[He thinks for a moment.]
You could get someone else to make an excuse for you. Maybe ask Krasus for something to do... He'd understand, right?
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[He frowns]
I dunno...do you really trust that guy?
[His name is just so close to Kratos...]
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I don't think he's a bad guy. He just seems like he's got a lot on his shoulders.
[Sounds familiar, don't it.]
If you want, I can go with you. I can still talk with Asch, so if something serious happens back at the Sanctum, we can come back right away.
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I'll...think it over.
Should have some time before I lose my voice anyway.
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