[There's a beat, then he decides to be melodramatic as usual]

Well it wasn't an easy decision. But...have you seen what they offer for hair care here? Next to nothing! Cheap shampoos and not even enough of it!

[He sighs]

I couldn't take it anymore. Watching my beloved hair grow all dull and split-ended? It was heartbreaking. I had to put it out of its misery.